Wednesday, 30 January 2013

I'm Back but Lost and Alone.

I am back. First of all I would just like to say a huge thank you to each and every one of you who commented on my last post about my dear Dad. I wish I could give you all a thank you hug. Thanks also to those who emailed me rather than comment here and to Barb, Julie and Karan who sent cards. It has been a difficult couple of weeks and I just feel so lost and alone. Sounds silly when I say I feel alone but I am sure those of you who have lost both your parents will understand it.

I haven't felt like blogging or commenting on blogs. I have, however, been doing some stitching. Some pieces haven't seen much action whilst others have. Two of my HAED pieces I would normally stitch on for an hour one day a week but every time I sat down to pop a few stitches in something cropped up. I have some finishes to show, two of which were birthday gifts.

The first one is my final finish of 2012 and was for my surrogate sis Lisa's birthday. I had already started stitching this when I received my birthday gift from Lisa in December and although we did not stitch the same design the words were the same. " BELIEVE".


Joan Elliott Believe ( left off the fairies)

Unknown Fabric

DMC

Birthday gift for Lisa

Next finish was for my friend Chris' birthday. I am terrible when it comes to stitching birthday gifts as I never know what to stitch and I change my mind so many times. I am happy to say that Chris loved it.

Homespun Elegance To Stitch is Bliss

unknown fabric

DMC

Started 7th January 2013

Finished 11th January 2013

Birthday gift for Chris.

I have also managed to finish my January ornament for the Christmas All Year Round SAL. I decided to leave the border off but now I think I'm going to add it as I have the companion piece to this which I won in Mylene's giveaway a few years ago so it'll match that if I add the border.

Little House Needleworks The Merry Skater

Unknown fabric

DMC

Started 6th January 2013

Finished 22nd January 2013.

I have a wee question to ask my fellow stitchers. Does anyone know of a chart with the following verse on it.

The kiss of the sun for pardon,
The song of the birds for mirth,--
One is nearer God's heart in a garden
Than anywhere else on earth. 

This was my Dad's favourite verse from the poem God's Garden. We had the poem read at the funeral service and I'd love to stitch it in his memory. I did ask on Facebook so I have seen some but I'm not keen on the ones I've seen so far. 


Not sure which WIP to start with now. Hmmm. As it's SAL night tonight over in the parlour at Needlecraft Haven I think you should see my progress on Country Cottage Needleworks Gingerbread Cottage. I am trying to pick out the darkest bits of the thread for the wording but it doesn't appear to be working too well. Loving this though and looking forward to getting more done tonight. I've run out of a colour though and my local shop didn't have any so hoping they'll have it soon. Thankfully I can work round it.

Onto my HAEDs now. I have made a lot of progress on QS Holly Fairy. I think I'm spurred on by being close to finishing page 2.

Guardian is going well. I need this angel to hold me up more than ever now so would love to make a lot more progress on this.

A little progress on SK Dragon's History. I hope to get back to some normality next week so that I can make regular progress on it.

Finally Mini The Forgotten. I'm almost across the top of the first page with this but again not much progress.

So that's all the stitching I can show now. There have been some evenings when I've sat for ages playing cards on my tab instead of stitching and I really need to get out of that. One of my friends from craft club said I need to be kinder to myself and give myself time. I can't get my head round the fact that my Dad is no longer here. I think because he's been here for so many years after my Mum I thought he'd always be there. Yes there were times when he was a pain in the ass but he's my Dad and I love him dearly and I miss him so much. As long as I'm busy I don't think too much but the minute I stop my mind goes into overtime. I keep thinking I should have done more for him ( silly really as I did lots) and I should have got a doctor out on the Sunday but I really have got to stop beating myself up. He'd told the doctor in A & E when he'd asked to tell him truthfully that he'd been feeling unwell for about a week and I just wish he'd told me then he might still be here. He must have felt rotten but he didn't let it show. Even his main carer was wondering if she'd missed something but my Dad was the type of person who wouldn't tell you. I am just glad that I got the chance to say goodbye and tell him that I loved him. I just hope he heard me as he wasn't conscious. 

Until next time.

With much love.

Sally
xxxx

31 comments:

Loubie69 said...

Some lovely finishes Sally. I already told you about the Kiss of the sun poem that I know about, I dont know of any others although I expect there are some out there. Glad to see you back blogging.

Vickie said...

I am glad to see stitching has offered you comfort Sally. I hope you find that perfect sampler to stitch in honor of your father. Take care.♥

Pull the other thread said...

So many cuddles and sympathies heading your way Sally. Do try to be kind to yourself. Your stitching is wonderful as always.

Lesleyanne said...

Your stitching and finishes are gorgeous. I am sure your Dad knew you did your best for him and loved him. Please stop beating yourself up you definitely need to be kinder to yourself. I don't know you in person but from what I can see you are a lovely person. Hugs xx

Catherine said...

So glad to see your post. Sending continues thoughts and prayers. You have some lovely projects, both finished and in progress. Wish I could think of a chart with that verse. Have you considered designing one yourself with motifs that would be special to the verse and your Dad?

Homeschool Mom said...

God bless you, Sally. Posting about your difficult experiences will surely help someone else who is going through the same broken heartedness.

Charlene ♥ SC said...

Great to see your pretty stitching progress. Your heart is heavy, and will be for some time. I agree with your friend - be kind to yourself, and keep your fingers busy. Stitching (and blogging?)soothes the soul, don't you know. The thoughts and pain don't go away, but they do ease some as time passes. Hugs!

cucki said...

God bless you dear friend..so happy to see your post...your stitching is so lovely..
Big hugs x

Carolyn said...

Sally,
Your finishes are lovely.

You have some great stitching on your WIP's. Glad your still stitching as I believe it helps us to keep calm.

Sally Your Dad knows how much you and your family loved him. That is what made his process so much easier. He will always be keeping watch over you all. Cherish your memories of him in your heart and they will never fade.

Hugs!

Siobhán said...

Oh Sally, I am so sorry. I was overseas visiting my inlaws when my dad died, and I didn't get to say all the things that I wanted to say. I truly believe that he hears them when I speak out loud, though. I think it's the same for your dad. I know that my dad knows I loved him, as I am positive that your dad did, too. How could he not? You were a wonderful daughter to him. I know there are no words that will make you feel better or change things, it just takes time. The ache is still there but you get used to it. Do whatever you need to do to help yourself through this time. Your stitching is lovely. Big hugs.

Margaret said...

Lovely stitching. I'm sorry you are struggling with your dad's passing. It's never easy to lose someone. Hugs to you.

Barb said...

Well hello there Sally,great finishes as per usual. Looking forward to seeing you tonight in the parlour GC is coming along very well.
I know that verse too as it is round my birdbath too,so we shop in the same places although mine was a pressie from my mum as yours was from your dad. I have not seen a stitched version but maybe as someone suggested you could design one for yourself ,and do not say you are not clever enough we all know you are.
Great to see a blog post from you and I really must mail you.
Well see you later and will try and get to the mail very very soon.

Michelle said...

Your stitching is looking lovely - stitching can be such wonderful therapy! Thinking of you :)

Meggie said...

Hello

So nice to read a post from you.
Lovely wips and finishes.
You are still in my thoughts.

Emma/Itzy said...

Hugs for you Sally. Take all the time you need, I know that is sometimes easier said than done when you have a family but you really must let yourself grieve in the way you need to, even if you do think it's silly (I always get mad at myself for crying?!)

As always your stitching looks beautiful and I hope it is giving you some comfort xxx

Cath said...

Lovely stitching Sally.
"They" do say that the hearing is the last sense to go, so the likelihood is that your Dad did hear you, but even if he didn't, he surely knew how much you loved him.
I have a feeling that the saying is charted in one of my many magazines, if I get chance I will have a look out for you.
Thinking of you .XXX

Linda said...

Your stitching looks great Sally. Just give yourself time.

Linda

Myra said...

Lovely stitching Sally. My heart goes out to you.

jane said...

Such lovely stitching Sally, all of it is very pretty.
Do take care and be kind to yourself (that really is the best advice) and hopefully things will get easier for you. It's great that you are stitching and blogging again. Thinking of you, I am sure I owe you an email too, expect it soon!

valerie said...

Hugs to you Sally. This is such a sad and hard time for you...I can't imagine the loss of a parent but know that you should be kind to yourself and allow yourself the time to grieve. Find the things that make you happy like stitching! Your progress looks wonderful!

Jackie said...

Sally, please do be kind to yourself. I'm quite sure your dad knows how much you loved him. I also truly believe that our loved ones who have passed peek in on us from time to time. I wish I could type something that would provide some comfort. Sending you a hug...

Solstitches said...

Lovely gifts both given and received.
I hope your stitching will bring you comfort and calm your mind Sally.
Thinking of you at this sad time in your life.
Hugs,
Margaret

Christine said...

Sending you Hugs Sally. It will get better with time, in the meanwhile just take care of yourself.
I've seen that verse on a Stoney Creek design, but I suspect that that wouldn't be your style as their stuff tends to be quite fiddly and twee.

Julie said...

I have that poem on my birdbath, a memory item as it was bought for us by Pauls late mum when we moved here.

Time really, really, does heal Sally. The tears of sadness with be replaced with tears of happy joyful memories. It's very early days and your whole daily routine has to take on a new shape as you have given time to dad for so long in each and every day. There is no best advice from anyone as to what you need to do, only you can do what is best for you and it doesn't matter what that is so long as you and the family are there for each other during the healing time . xxxx

p.s. nice stitching and finishes

Carol said...

I'm dreading the time when my parents are gone, Sally--can't even imagine that day. I do hope you're getting some comfort in the memories of times shared with him and in your beautiful stitching... Sending warm hugs your way!

Fiona said...

Great finishes and progress on you HAED WIPs. It is hard when you lose both parents,but all things heal with time. Why not try designing something yourself that uses your Dad's favourite poem. Take care.

Michelle said...

Lovely stitching Sally - stitching is good therapy. As you know I am thinking of you my friend xx

Southpaw Stitcher said...

So sorry about the loss of your dad. It may not feel like it now, but things will get better with time. You're in my thoughts and prayers. Stitching is great therapy!

butterfly said...

Sally I totally know how you feel . Sending you lots of hugs and prayers, I will email you, hugs.

Mylene said...

Beautiful finishes ane W.I.P's.
Thinking of you.
((hugs))

Dani - tkdchick said...

Sally I'm sorry to hear you feel so alone!

Your finishes are just lovely and you'll get back to stitching more when you're ready!